I Am Costa

Constantinos Carastavrakis, known to his friends as Costa, tells his story with great honesty and courage. He charts his course through a childhood of identity confusion – growing up Greek and gay in Johannesburg. He built a glamourous life of parties, business triumphs and money but crashed into the devastation of a crystal meth addiction.

All my life, shame and denial followed me around. I was the odd one out. The boy who wasn’t manly enough. The Greek kid who ate smelly food and the one who couldn’t catch a ball or swim like everyone else. I listened to others tell me who I was, and it hurt. I started drinking at 12, trying hard to become somebody. I propped myself up enough to build a successful life but my addictions kept growing until crystal meth brought everything tumbling down.

Handed the ‘gift of desperation’, I slowly dragged myself out of the toxicity of alcohol and drugs to a new life based on acceptance and building the best version of myself. By devoting my energy and drive to fitness I was able to work my way to becoming a triathlon and marathon athlete.

I am Costa, and I named this book after myself because I no longer need a place to hide. Handing back the shame, one step and one ABBA song at a time, I bring light and humour to the darkness of addiction and show that true body, mind and spirit recovery is possible… if you care enough to heal yourself.

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