How to Be a Footballer

You become a soccer player because you love soccer. And then you are a soccer player, and youre suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one teammate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane, and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a soccer ball before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media, and try to ensure that we never again pay far too much for a haircut that should have cost ten bucks. Well be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez, and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Erikssons assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

'Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' - Sunday Times'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro**A Sunday Times Sports Book of the Year****Shortlisted for the National Book Awards****Longlisted for the Telegraph Sports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay £250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Get How to Be a Footballer by at the best price and quality guaranteed only at Werezi Africa's largest book ecommerce store. The book was published by Ebury Publishing and it has pages.